Yesterday was train wreck Tuesday and guess what?? I was in the middle of my own train wreck and never had the opportunity to post. That's the reality sometimes. But here I am, repairing my damage and starting over with you. And that is exactly what I did during my wreck yesterday.
It was a typical Tuesday, I was home with my three littles and I was trying to get some work done BEFORE they woke up in the morning. Per usual, I was not working fast enough before I heard a little cry come out of one's bedroom and a sleepy headed whine out of another. Pretty soon the whole gang was up and I was distracted trying to finish up my work.
The morning goes on with making a million breakfasts that my kids didn't eat coupled with whining and fighting with one another. I began feeling the anxiety build up in my body as I tried to quickly finish up what I was doing...which I could not even take a deep breath much less form a rational thought with this chaos ensuing. Eventually, I snapped and started yelling at everyone. Threats came spewing out of my mouth and I found myself pointing and stomping-having a complete tantrum! Before I knew it, everyone was crying (including me) and looking at me like I was a monster. And I felt like one.
I will be the first to say that it is totally unrealistic to think we are going to keep our cool all of the time. BUT it is extremely important to hold yourself accountable in situations like this and self reflect. What were my kids trying to achieve by driving me crazy? Ummmm get my attention of course! And what did I do? I punished them for wanting to spend time with their mother. (enter heart breaking emoji here)
Here are some great steps to overcoming a complete train wreck of a parenting moment (or any relationship moment):
1) Step back (deep breaths)
2) Acknowledge your behavior (guys, mom just acted like a complete a hole)
3) REPAIR your damage (that was not okay behavior, I am sorry and you did not do anything wrong. I love you)
4) Redo (Can I start over? What were you trying to tell me?)
We are human, we are flawed and imperfect. But we have to take ownership over our mistakes and repair the hurt feelings. Not only does this establish reconnection with our children, it also models extremely important skills for them.
Hang in there parents/grandparents/daycare providers/aunts/cousins whoever you are. You got this and we are in your corner.
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