Let's start with first things first, all thoughts are valid, all feelings are valid. We are allowed to think negative thoughts. We are allowed to feel negative feelings. But what we are going to talk about today is what you do with that negativity, and how to bring yourself around to a place where transformation and change can occur.
So here I am, I am getting ready for work, my kids are arguing, in between making demand after demand, "I'm hungry. Mom will you wipe my butt? (Ok this example is from a few years ago.) I can't get my socks on." And on and on and on. With each new little snippet of a demand, and every burn on the tip of my fingers from the curling iron, my patience begins to wear thin and my anxiety begins to amp up. And my mind, oh it's jumping on the train to WTF ville like it wants to buy a mansion and post up for a while.
That looks a little like this... "WTF, why do I have to deal with all of this. He's (my boyfriend) in there sleeping while I am out here dealing with all of this on my own. It's always like this. I never get any help around hear. I am the cooker, the cleaner, the get 3 people ready for the day person and the rush off to work with an anxiety attack lady EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mine as well do it on my own, because I'm doing it on my own anyway!"
Sound familiar?
Or how about this girl?
I take a shower, do my hair, put on my makeup, I have to go into work on a Sunday and I'm trying to make the best of it. I am going to be in a room FILLED with people I know. People I went to high school with, and of whom I am still too nervous to talk to or even say Hi out of fear I will embarrass myself. I make it through the few hours it takes for the event to finish, and I climb in my car, only to notice a lovely little booger hanging out of my nose.... for all to see, YET NO ONE TOLD ME!!!!
WTF?!? Great! Now I looked like a complete idiot in front of all those people I know! I can't even make sure my snot rockets are under control! I looked like a fool I am sure of it. And once again, on and on my mind goes.
Now take a peek at the picture posted with this blog and ask yourself, which mind was I in, in both of those situations.... Rational/ Logical Mind? Or Emotional Mind?
Ding Ding Ding, if you said emotional mind, you are SPOT ON! And like I said, it is ok to think and feel in the emotional mind, we just need to recognize when we operate from there and then pull it back toward the Wise Mind center with a little bit of Logic and Rationale.
Here is what that looks like in both scenarios.
#1:
Emotional Mind: I am pissed. I am alone in this. I am out of here.
Rational Mind: I am pissed. My man works late hours and needs his rest too. He helps out all day long and does most of the parenting. But that doesn't make my morning flow any easier. Have I told him that my mornings would be easier if he got up and helped me? NO. Is he going to miraculously start getting up in the morning without my requesting it? NOOOOOO. So what should I do?
Wise Mind: Suck up my pride, and ask for help, I need it. I don't have to do this on my own, whether I am capable of doing so or not (and I sure as hell am, but I sure as hell don't want to). If I keep my needs and feelings in, it's only fostering further resentment and darkness to grow around the situation at hand. If I keep my feelings in, it doesn't help the situation at all. Make the ask for help.
Emotional Mind: I am so embarrassed. People don't even respect me enough to let me know I had something hanging out of my nose. They were probably all laughing at me on the inside.
Rational Mind: It's winter, your nose runs, you tried to wipe it.... at least you didn't sneeze out a big booger on someone.
Wise Mind: Get over it! Really and truly, it's on all those other people, who were not bold enough to help a sister out! Who wouldn't step forward and say "Hey girl, you have something in your nose." It's passed, and I guarantee the only person who is still thinking about the booger in my nose today is ME. Everyone else has moved on with their day. And I should too... right after I write a blog about it that ends with a PSA to help a sister out if you see anything in her teeth, or her nose. Trust me, we will be grateful!!
Take a little time today, and try to access that Wise Mind when your Emotional Mind tries to hijack you! And let us know in the comments or in our group how that changed your situation.
Happy growing today ladies. Plant your mind gardens and water them well!
-Amber
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