Anxiety. It rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times. At first, it is a physical feeling that surges through my body-my heart rate is a little higher, my muscles are a little tighter and my chest is a little heavier. Then come thoughts...."life is so hard" "why can't things be easier?" "my kids hate me" "im an awful parent" "I'm a horrible wife". Which leads to my emotional feelings of inadequacy, sadness, guilt, shame, and ANGER. And finally, the fulfillment of those beliefs by behaving in a way that reinforces them (less pateince with my kids, nagging at my husband, and complaining....about EVERYTHING).
I experienced this on several occasions last week. I started feeling it again last night and I knew where I was headed...I know this pattern very well. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? The kids I treat in therapy experience anxiety on a much higher level than I do, BUT I decided to implement some of the strategies I teach them for myself.
So last night, I took three deep breaths which inevitably relaxed my body and slowed down my heart rate. I changed my irrational/unhelpful thoughts to helpful ones...which ultimately changed my behavior. Instead of running through the house like a psychopath, yelling at everyone and cleaning, I left the dishes in the sink, skipped my meal prep for the next day, and did not fold the laundry. Instead, I gave my oldest daughter a back rub, sang a song to my middle daughter, and cuddled with my baby boy. I was at peace. My kids were at peace. My house, although incredibly messy, was at peace.
See that? Thoughts influence feelings which influence our behavior.
It is not a lie or a theory when I say we create our anxiety, our fear, our doubts. We are in control of these things. Our mind is a powerful tool and it can hinder us or empower us.
What unhelpful thoughts are you telling yourself?
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